Over It - Katherine McPhee

I'm over your lies
And I'm over your games
I'm over you asking me
When you know
I'm not okay

You call me at night
And I pick up the phone
And though you be tellin' me
I know
You're not alone

Oh
And that's why
Your eyes
I'm over it
Your smile
I'm over it
Realized
I'm over it
I'm over it
I'm over

Wanting you
To be wanting me
No that ain't no way to be
How I feel
Read my lips
Because I'm so over
I'm so
Moving on
And it's my time
You never were a friend of mine
Hurt at first
A little bit
And now I'm so over
I'm so over it

I'm over your hands
And I'm over your mouth
Tryin' to drag me down
And fill me with self doubt

Oh
And that's why
Your world
I'm over it
So sure
I'm over it
I'm not your girl
I'm over it
I'm over it
I'm over

Wanting you
To be wanting me
No that ain't no way to be
How I feel
Read my lips
Because I'm so over
I'm so
Moving on
And it's my time
You never were a friend of mine
Hurt at first
A little bit
And now I'm so over
So over it
I'm so over it

Woo-oh-oh

Don't call
Don't come by
Ain't no use
Don't ask me why
You'll never change
There'll be no more
Cryin' in the rain

Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
Oh-wo-wo

I'm so over it
Wanting you
To be wanting me
No that ain't no way to be
How I feel
Read my lips
Because I'm so over
I'm so
Moving on
And it's my time
You never were a friend of mine
Hurt at first
A little bit
And now I'm so over
So over it
I'm so over it

I'm so over it
Wanting you
To be wanting me
No that ain't no way to be
How I feel
Read my lips
Because I'm so over
I'm so
Moving on
And it's my time
You never were a friend of mine
Hurt at first
A little bit
And now I'm so over
So over it

Nice song there. And it helped me go through the recent heartbreak I had. Well, it has been 2 months since my heart was brokened and heartbreaks ain't that easy afterall. My old tactic of putting up a strong front didn't work this time. Sad to say. I tried a new way though. By crying all out on one day and then tell yourself that this will be the last day you are gonna shed tears because of that dumb heartbreak you've just gone through. It did work for the first time. But subsequently, I kept telling myself it's the last day and that last day never seem to come true. Ha.

Crying ain't gonna let you re-live those moments and it doesn't bring back the person you love ever so dearly too. So why cry? Well, don't ask me cause I don't know either.

All those promising words are said like free and they make you feel all sky-high whenever mentioned. I guess this is the reason why people wanna fall in love so much - To feel like you are on drugs though you've not actually taken them. I've been through that and to tell you the truth, I was feeling like the luckiest girl on earth and I didn't need anyone else besides that person I loved. I thought that was my forever and I thought it was gonna last. As I said, I THOUGHT. In the end, it ended so arubtly and my world turned black and white when that 2 words were mentioned. Though we agreed on it but still, I know it's gonna be hard.

That person said those same promising words and sounded quite anxious as to whether we'll be good friends after that break up. I was glad that we could still remain as close even after we broke up. But guess what, it turned out to be crap. I tried. I tried to pretend nothing happened and continued to try smiling and saying "Hello" like we used to before. But that person just wouldn't respond. I felt the distance then. Now I finally understand what does it mean by "So near yet so far".

Somtimes, I feel as though I've not tried hard enough. So I continued trying and trying. But time and time again, I've got my heart broken and my efforts gone down the drain. So I go home, feeling so helpless and pathetic all at the same time. And that feeling suck. To the core.

Those special moments kept replaying in my mind whenever I'm alone and I'm suprised that I still remember every single thing; the phonecalls, the messages and the meetings, so clearly like it happened yesterday. For the past times I've been through those heartbreaks, I've never felt this way before. Thinking about it, it's actually quite scary how it fills up my mind.

Missing someone THAT much is horrible. Especially when you can't even talk to that person and can only look at him or her from afar. Now, I can only remember how the person's back view looked like because it's always the back that I always get to see. The situation is made worse when that person is sick or injured and I can't even do anything cause that person doesn't even wanna talk to me or look at me in the eye. Where did the "We could be great friends." go? Poof! It suddenly disappeared. Gone. Nowhere to be found. Ha, crap isn't it?

Saying that you've forgotten is crap. Technically, no one can actually really erase everything from his or her mind completely, provided you suffer from a memory loss. It is whether you are able to accept the fact that you've just lost someone you love. And I haven't. Embarrassing? Super.

Ranting here ain't the way to solve the problem but at least I've said what I wanted to say. So I'll now go continue to try to accept the fact that I've just lost that one special person.

And I'll always love you.

Rachel;
11:48